Building a Marriage Anchored in Faith
By: Javid Amin
In a world where relationships are tested by fleeting trends and societal pressures, Islam offers an eternal compass for marital success. Rooted in the Quran and Sunnah, these 10 principles aren’t just rules—they’re a roadmap to a bond blessed by Allah. Whether you’re newlyweds in Srinagar or a couple navigating storms, these tips revive the Prophetic ﷺ model of love, respect, and resilience.
01. Prioritize Mercy & Kindness
Quranic Foundation:
“And of His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Quran 30:21)
Practical Step:
- Start each day with a heartfelt “Assalamu Alaikum” and a small act of kindness (e.g., preparing tea, helping with chores).
Kashmir Connection:
Replace heated debates over dowry with gestures like gifting a Kashmiri shawl or sharing Kahwa to reignite warmth.
02. Communicate with Compassion
Quranic Guidance:
“Live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (Quran 4:19)
Practical Step:
- Use “I feel” statements instead of blame (e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when chores pile up” vs. “You never help!”).
03. Fulfill Financial Rights Responsibly
Quranic Command:
“Let the wealthy man spend according to his means…” (Quran 65:7)
Practical Step:
- Create a halal budget together; avoid haram loans for extravagant weddings.
Kashmir Insight:
Opt for a simple Walima with Gushtaba and loved ones over debt-heavy hotel events.
04. Practice Patience in Trials
Quranic Reminder:
“Seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” (Quran 2:153)
Practical Step:
- During conflicts, recite “Astaghfirullah” 10x to calm anger before discussing issues.
05. Decide Through Mutual Consultation
Quranic Principle:
“And whose affair is [determined by] consultation among themselves…” (Quran 42:38)
Practical Step:
- Hold weekly “Shura meetings” to discuss finances, parenting, or family visits.
06. Guard Against Suspicion & Gossip
Quranic Warning:
“Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicion is a sin.” (Quran 49:12)
Practical Step:
- If in-laws interfere, politely say, “Let’s resolve this between us first, Insha’Allah.”
07. Forgive Freely, Grudge Never
Quranic Wisdom:
“Let them pardon and overlook. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?” (Quran 24:22)
Practical Step:
- After disagreements, gift a heartfelt note: “You mean more to me than being right.”
08. Nurture Physical & Emotional Intimacy
Prophetic Example:
The Prophet ﷺ said, “The best of you are those best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi)
Practical Step:
- Schedule monthly “date nights” (e.g., a Shikara ride on Dal Lake or stargazing in Gulmarg).
09. Seek Allah’s Guidance Together
Prophetic Practice:
“If one of you intends to undertake a matter, let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer…” (Hadith, Bayhaqi)
Practical Step:
- Perform Salatul Istikhara jointly before major decisions (e.g., moving, job changes).
10. Cultivate Gratitude Daily
Quranic Promise:
“If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]…” (Quran 14:7)
Practical Step:
- Share 3 things you’re grateful for about each other before bed (e.g., “JazakAllah for supporting my parents”).
Epilogue: Your Marriage, a Sacred Amanah (Trust)
Allah doesn’t promise a life without storms—He promises a sakinah (tranquility) that weathers them. By anchoring your bond in these Quranic principles, you’re not just building a marriage; you’re crafting a legacy of faith.
“The world is a temporary enjoyment, and the best enjoyment is a righteous spouse.” – Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)
