Parents, Please Understand Your Responsibilities: Why Upbringing Matters as Much as Education – A Wake-Up Call from Mirwaiz Umar Farooq
Srinagar, Oct 19: In a time when academic achievements and degrees seem to be the primary focus for most parents, a growing concern is being raised by religious and community leaders in Kashmir. Mirwaiz Umar Farooq, the spiritual leader of Kashmir and a prominent voice on socio-religious issues, has called for urgent attention to an often overlooked but critical aspect of raising children: upbringing (tarbiyat). In a powerful speech, he emphasized that alongside formal education, moral and ethical upbringing is essential for nurturing well-rounded individuals who contribute positively to society.
“Today, there is no environment for proper upbringing in our homes,” Mirwaiz warned during his address to the community. His words struck a deep chord with parents, educators, and community leaders alike, urging them to introspect about the values and principles being imparted to children.
This article explores the profound importance of upbringing, why it is being neglected in today’s fast-paced society, and how parents can bridge this gap to ensure their children grow up with a balanced perspective of life.
The Crisis of Upbringing: A Growing Concern
In Kashmir, as in many parts of the world, a child’s success is often measured by their academic performance, the degrees they acquire, and the prestigious institutions they attend. However, Mirwaiz Umar Farooq stresses that this narrow focus on education is leading to a dangerous gap in the ethical, moral, and emotional development of children.
“Parents, please understand your responsibilities,” Mirwaiz said, expressing his concern about the imbalance between education and upbringing. He highlighted that while parents are willing to go to great lengths to ensure their children excel academically, many are overlooking their role in shaping their children’s values, character, and emotional intelligence.
Mirwaiz’s statement is not just a call to parents but a societal reflection on how our homes and families, once the primary centers for instilling values, have increasingly become focused on academic success, materialism, and external achievements.
Education vs. Upbringing: Why Both Are Essential
It is often said that education teaches you how to make a living, but upbringing teaches you how to live. Both elements are crucial in developing a child into a responsible, empathetic, and moral individual.
While formal education equips children with the knowledge and skills necessary for professional success, upbringing is the process of instilling values like respect, empathy, honesty, discipline, and responsibility.
Without proper upbringing, even the most educated individuals can lack the moral compass required to navigate life’s challenges, engage in meaningful relationships, and contribute positively to society. Education without ethical grounding can create individuals who are professionally capable but socially irresponsible or emotionally unstable.
Mirwaiz’s appeal resonates with this very idea, as he urges parents to recognize that character building should be prioritized alongside academic achievements. He stressed that a child with a strong ethical foundation is far better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs, engage in meaningful relationships, and contribute positively to the community.
The Role of Parents in Upbringing: Not Just Educators but Guides
Mirwaiz’s message highlights the critical role of parents as the first educators in their children’s lives. Children absorb most of their behavior and attitudes from home, making parents the key influencers in their moral development. While schools and teachers can provide formal education, the home environment is where values and principles are learned.
Unfortunately, in today’s fast-paced world, where both parents may be working long hours, there is often little time left for nurturing family bonds, guiding children through moral dilemmas, and helping them develop emotional intelligence.
In many homes, the role of moral and ethical education has been outsourced to schools, religious institutions, or social media. However, Mirwaiz warns that these external sources cannot replace the role of parents in a child’s ethical development.
Parents need to model the behavior they wish to see in their children. If children witness their parents being kind, honest, respectful, and empathetic, they are far more likely to adopt these values. However, if they see hypocrisy, aggression, dishonesty, or indifference at home, they will inevitably internalize these negative traits.
The Lack of Upbringing in Modern Homes: Where Did We Go Wrong?
Mirwaiz’s statement that “there is no environment for proper upbringing in our homes” is an alarming wake-up call. But what has caused this deterioration in upbringing within the family structure?
1. The Rise of Materialism and Overemphasis on Academic Success
In today’s society, success is often equated with material wealth, social status, and academic achievements. Parents, driven by the desire to provide their children with the best opportunities, often focus excessively on formal education, neglecting the importance of teaching life skills, emotional resilience, and ethical values.
Children are being pushed into a race for academic excellence without understanding the importance of empathy, humility, and social responsibility. As a result, they may grow up to be high achievers in terms of education and career but lack the moral foundation needed to lead fulfilling and meaningful lives.
2. The Breakdown of the Traditional Family Unit
Traditionally, the extended family played a significant role in a child’s upbringing. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, and other relatives would all contribute to teaching children values and ethics. Today, with the rise of nuclear families, children often lack the benefit of intergenerational learning and support.
Furthermore, with both parents frequently working full-time jobs, the time spent with children is reduced, and quality family interactions are compromised. The result is children who may feel emotionally neglected or unsupported, turning to outside influences for their value systems.
3. The Influence of Technology and Social Media
Another factor contributing to the lack of proper upbringing is the overuse of technology in the household. Children today are exposed to the internet, social media, and television at a very young age, often unsupervised.
While these platforms can provide educational content, they are also filled with harmful influences, from promoting materialism to showcasing toxic behavior. Parents who rely on technology to entertain or educate their children without monitoring or guidance may be inadvertently allowing negative influences to shape their children’s moral and ethical values.
4. The Lack of Religious and Moral Education
In the past, religious and moral education was an integral part of a child’s upbringing. Children were taught not just to follow religious rituals, but to embody the principles of honesty, respect, compassion, and community service in their daily lives.
However, with the increasing secularization of society and the diminishing role of religious institutions in people’s lives, many children are growing up without a strong sense of spiritual or moral grounding.
Mirwaiz’s emphasis on the lack of upbringing highlights this void, urging parents to reintroduce moral and ethical teachings in their homes, whether through religious education or simply through consistent modeling of good behavior.
What Can Be Done? Rebuilding the Culture of Upbringing
Addressing the crisis of upbringing in our homes requires a collective effort from parents, educators, and community leaders. Here are some actionable steps that can help rebuild a culture where upbringing is valued as much as education:
1. Prioritize Time with Family
No matter how busy life gets, quality time with family should never be compromised. Parents need to create moments of interaction where they can guide their children, listen to their concerns, and provide emotional support. Family meals, daily conversations, and regular bonding activities can go a long way in creating a supportive environment for a child’s moral development.
2. Lead by Example
Parents need to model the behavior they want to see in their children. If they expect their children to be respectful, empathetic, and responsible, they need to display these qualities in their own actions. Children learn more from what they see than what they are told.
3. Integrate Moral and Ethical Discussions into Daily Life
Moral and ethical lessons should be part of everyday conversations. Parents can use real-life situations to discuss topics like honesty, fairness, and kindness. By integrating ethical discussions into daily interactions, parents can help their children develop a strong sense of right and wrong.
4. Limit Technology and Encourage Real-Life Interaction
While technology is an unavoidable part of modern life, parents need to set boundaries on screen time and encourage more real-life interactions. Children should be encouraged to play, socialize, and engage in activities that promote cooperation, empathy, and critical thinking.
5. Reintroduce Religious and Spiritual Education
For families who value religious and spiritual teachings, it is essential to reintroduce religious education as part of their children’s upbringing. This doesn’t mean just teaching rituals, but also instilling the values of compassion, humility, and community service that are at the heart of many faiths.
6. Collaborate with Schools and Community Leaders
Upbringing is not just the responsibility of parents. Schools, community leaders, and religious institutions also play a significant role in shaping children’s values. Parents should collaborate with educators and community leaders to ensure that children receive consistent messaging about the importance of ethical behavior, respect for others, and personal responsibility.
The Road Ahead: A Call for Action
Mirwaiz Umar Farooq’s appeal is a wake-up call for all parents. His message is clear: education alone is not enough. The values, ethics, and principles we instill in our children will determine not only their success but also the future of our society.
If we continue to focus solely on academic achievements while neglecting the critical aspect of upbringing, we risk raising a generation of individuals who may be highly educated but lack the empathy, resilience, and moral grounding necessary for a healthy and harmonious society.
